Bloody mess....

I havent even tried to log on to the game for maby 2 weeks? Why? It feels like entering the world of zombies. You say hi and your lucky if 1/10 says hi back to you. No matter if its raiding hour or any other hour. It feels like entering a big depression. And tbh, the social bit is all i get out of it atm since the flying around and doing stuff bit makes me feel sick. So 2 weeks off... Maby its time to log back on soon and say hi and see if people pulled themselves up now? This being pregnant bit and gaming bit dont seem to work so good together atm. Today i walked in to 15(weeks) +0(days). It means im 16 weeks pregnant (i have started my 16th weeks and thats how they count. Very confusing at first tbh). But they say your morning sickness will pass, but it hasnt so far and it feels like im going over the weeks where it will end. I might have to get used to feeling like this all the time until the baby comes. Horrible thought! I dont know what to do with the game if that happens. But im thinking of taking away my visa details on blizzards billing page... I pay for 6 months in advance and next time i need to pay is in like january or feburary. And the baby is due in feburary. I wont have the time for the game then! Its all a mess atm. Its not like im the most hard person to replace there anyway so i dont have to feel like i  have to or that im letting people down.

I dont want to game atm just because i get the motion sickness on top of my morning sickness. Yesterday i started to vomit blood. So i had to go to the doctors. And that alone takes all my energy even tho it takes me 5 min to walk there... At least its not my old ulcer from 10-11 years ago that has come back. I have just been vometing so much it comes from the throat. It just cant take it no more... So i got some medicine to heal that and some medicine that might help with feeling so sick. Being pregnant is not how i imagined it to be... I thought i would be able to sit now and do alot of gaming, being social again. But no, i cant even walk outside my own house for more then 1 hour without having a price to pay for it...

But dont think the gamer inside me has left! Oh no, its there more then ever. Since i lay in bed all day working on not vometing (i am so ready for that part in the exorcist now, i have even the sound effects down to the most scary sound) or not trying to break mentally, i have been playing other games. To be exact Diablo 2 and yesterday i also started playing another old time favourite (it seems old games are not as bad when it comes to motion sickness) Black & White 2. Black & White i just started yesterday so i have a long way to go before anything really happens. Now im just trying to make them to breed and build stuff they want me to build. But Diablo 2 has been going on for a long time. And it has been fun! Not only because its a classic game, but Alex has been playing it a bit to. Strange thing is that one time he got a bug where he can have millions in his chest and he gets loads of orange runes. He is lower lvl then me ffs =P Hes not suppose to? Can diablo 3 live up to the expectations since 2 was so good when that came out? Dont think they stand a chance tbh... Not only have they made the game an online game that makes me wonder if its another game i have to pay for the cds and then pay to be able to log on, they are mixing real money with an auction house (just like wow except the real money bit). Why do they do that? Diablo is one of the games i love just because i dont have to log on somewhere. Its on my pc and no where else. I think they are making it to obvious that they want to earn money more then making a game good that we all have been waiting for so many years. You dont think they wont take their cut on auction house when you deal with real money? Think again... Has Blizzard become to big to fast for their own good? I think alot of players will be disappointed in Diablo 3, specially if it comes to ps3 as i have heard it might. It just dont feel like Diablo! I have applied for testing the beta but still no word so i guess i wont get the chance. To bad, since it probably would cheer me up a lill bit. Unless they made the graphics so good it triggers motion sickness. Lol.

I dont seem to talk to alot of people now from wow. I do miss that...

Im telling my secret now

So, now i can finally say why i have had a hard time playing hour long raids! Im pregnant! So now we can add another positive thing the game has given me. If it wasnt for the game i wouldnt have met my Alex. And we wouldnt be expecting one now. But ofc, we wouldnt be having a baby if Shadowtour didnt have a heart to heart with Alex about the subject =) Today we have gone 12 weeks and 1 day. But being pregnant has not been a vacation! There where some complications in the beginning and we thought it was all over. Against all signs it wasnt. And i have felt so sick! Normally when you have the stomach flu you get over it within a week. This has been a ongoing thing since 6 weeks and 4 days. We are very happy parents to be =) And it seems he has connected with the baby better then me. But maby because he hasnt been sick. Sometimes i have been crying wishing myself dead. It does take a toll on you. You can really feel your hungry but dont really want anything. You start to plan whats easy to get up. So gaming has sufferd alot! I havent caped myself every week like i maby should have. But the thing is, the game cant be paused. If i do a random with a pug group they wont take a break just because i need one for 10 min. And i do tend to push myself way over the edge. I did one evening. I thought it was a great idea to raid. The next day i was a wreck! When we where done i started to feel less hot. Then the day after it was still going on and getting worse during the day. But it was fun. It is starting to itch in my raiding nerve again ;)

I have been chasing achievements on Babylove. And i have created Babymama. My new little shammy healer. But everyone seems to be a shammy healer now. Grrr ;)

I am curius how i am going to combine my gaming life and a baby later. But lets face it. The first time of the babys life im going to be like a mage. A vending machine. Who dosent think cake or food when they see a mage? ;)

So, im trying to take care of myself and do all whats good for the baby. I think its going to be worth it =)

How the guild started and what has it become?

I remember the day Shadowtour started Splintered Souls. Me, Alex, Mos and him met in Dolce and banana. Things where not going the way we wanted there. The raid leader was way to often late and sometimes we didnt have enough people for a raid. We all started to search outside. I went to FFS. I even got the offer to become an officer. I must have known i wasnt going to be there for so long? Shad said he was trying one more guild and if that didnt work out he was going to start his own. So things didnt work out and he started his guild. I still remember joining in the very first day. I remember seeming the text going yellow telling me i was now an officer of Splintered Souls.

What was the idea of making Splintered souls? To make it a social raiding guild but with firm times and a few rules. Among them was "You will conduct yourself in an adult manner at all times. We are not your parents. You will show respect and consideration to all guild members, officers, and alliance guild members, regardless if you’re in or out of raid." And we where about to make it! We where thinking about our reputation at all times. We took schooling the members that did wrong in private (that was an officer rule, you never reprimanded members in public). We got alot of good players to the guild. Most of them i still have a huge respect for. I cant really point my finger to when it went wrong, all i can say is that i think alot of people have gone numb now to what is said. When not even the officers can follow the rules any more, who can expect a member to do it?

We had an incident in the guild with 2 members being rude all the time. Specially to one person. It just kept going and going and going. And at the same time i was trying to pull everyones thumb out of there behinds. We still needed to reqruit, we where missing the cata changes when everyone was changing guild. I spoke up about the problems i saw. I even came up with sulutions to the problems. You have to have some sulutions sometimes to something, cant complain all the time and expect someone else to do it. Specially when you where in the position i was. An officer. Thats a huge responsibility. I seemd to have seen it more as a company that cant survive without selling something. And on horde side with our server its a very small world. A guild lives on its reputation its getting. I was warning about members leaving just cuz of the lack of commitment from us. What happened. We have lost ALOT of good members.

I raided with the guild yesterday. First time in 8 weeks i think? What could i see? No one really seemed like they really cared. Everyone was at an okay mood when we started but as soon as we meet a tiny little bit of problem it all turned sour. I didnt give a *bleep* cuz it was so long ago i was raiding. To me it was al fun. If people didnt want to, screw them, im killing this big ugly thing. I got to hear the other day everyone said they wanted me back. Do they? Really? After what was said today from one officer on vent im not so sure. Im not the most secure person. I dont care what my dmg meter told me after the raid, its so much more then dps in a raid. You need to know when to stop, when to push it, when to not stand in the shit on the ground otr whatever shit is coming your way. When Spike and Druid said things about other people raiding i got to hear that one officer stoped playing. He was offended. I guess the same way i was today? No one seems to thin there was a problem having one outsider and one very fresh member on vent. It becomes like rings on the water.

I really wish people could open their eyes and start to care again. Atm i cant ffeel alot of people cares how we represent ourselves any more. To many chefs trying to make the soup? Atm its a cold hearted soup with a very bitter taste!

Alex said in the middle of all our stuff going on, that he would try to run the guild. I thought people wanted change. Specially since we now are struggling to get new people in. And the website went down at the same time (guess who was the first to see that. Me ofc. lol) Im seriously thinking about who wants to work for the guild (that i know some do) and who just want the status of an officer? All i can say to my hun Alex is I am really glad you where trying and ty for taking my opinion in consideration when you where tying to make the guild what it was. I would have supported you all the way to make the guild what we wanted the first day when we where so few. The concept of that was popular, the concept now isnt. Im glad you could see it and wanted to work on it while your my rock and biggest support here at home. Taking care of both me, a house, a cat and a guild is alot of work. I wish more people could see what attitude was a winning concept for the guild and what wasnt.But i guess people change...


Neither me or Alex feel like raiding. If it wasnt for all the people we loved we would have left now. Just like everyone else. Like all the inactive members that dont seem to find the spark for the game again. And i am really sorry synth, i wont be raidleading ever and spank you around like you said you missed. I will wait and see if the guild can recover or if it cant. If it gets disband, or we end up being the only ones left, i will start up Angels of Destiny again. But i really dont have the energy or the time atm to do it so i really hope it wont come to that.

Where did the love go? I still got plenty to give to the guild.Please dont break my heart so much guys, it cant take much more without being broke forever....

Real life comes first!

I havent been able to play alot in a while. I have been ill and i am going to need a few more weeks to recover and be my old self again =) I havent been raiding and thats not way to fun. I miss it all the time and specially when i get updates from Alex on how its gone for the group etc. But last night they needed one dps for about an hour so i did raid. It was so fun. I made a million mistakes, but it was nice to feel i was still a part of the group. But here is the thing, me and alex compared recount and for some reason he was the top on his and i was the top of mine. Atm it dosent have any updates so i dunno if there is a problem with it that is going to be fixed? But when i got that addon it was the top one. Where the numbers where only so little off. Now they are way off and seems to depend even more on your range to the group and seems to boost your own dps for a bit? But it did what it was suppose to do, not make me feel so extremely bad. But i could use some trash runs in firelands so i can get some nice gear. But im way to tired all the time and stuff like that =/ Real life first!

I have been working a bit on my dk ad atm its lvl 79 =) Not way off from my goal now. Then i have a plan to get up a healer. I want to make a pally healer. Hope its any good! But to be able to do call to arms and get a little goodie bag... Im so cheap...

So hopefully i will be myself again sometime in august and can come back with full power ;)

Been slacking

So i got told i have been slacking a bit with the blod. And yes i have! There has been the old in game drama that blew up real bad for a while, Alex brother got in an accident and ended up with only being able to see with one eye. But he seems to be taking it like a real man. Very mature kid (17 so a kid to me ;) ). And atm me and Alex have alot on our minds and things to sort so its just piling up. But i have had a bit of time to play. And im happy to say my dk is looking good =) She is 71 and i am working her towards 72.

I have been working hard on this on and off. It really goes fast when i quest. And no heirlooms!

Found this nice head, downside was it only lasted for 60 minutes and had no stats. But it looked cool and it wasnt like i needed to be stronger so i had ot on anyway. Something gas mask it was called...

 

Noticed she has gotten a makeover?

Babylove has something new 2 and it replaced my last blue item on her. My mage helped farm for that trinket. Feels like not well spent hours now that 4.2 comes on the 21st of june...

I found this place in Grizzly Hills. Cant remember seeing it before tbh...

So the last 3 pictures needs a little longer explanation. We where in BWD last night. We went to Magmaw on the first go, we went to omnitron and got it down on the first go, we went to Maloriak and got it down on the first go. I was thinking this is going way to good. An epic dropped. Could really feel the tension in my tummy when Synth pointed it out. Gobby was running in on his mage after helping off tank. Deja vu concidering that was what happened just there was just what happened when he won the wand (damn wand, its going to be useless in 4.2!) And then we went to atramedes, and we got that down on the second try. Chimareon last. We havent gotten down that one before so i didnt have to high hopes even if i had a bit of hope. It only took a few tries and everyone made a team effort with getting it down. Ofc i died but i did actually stay up for so long it didnt feel like i was lying around on the floor for ages. And it was our first time getting it down. Great work guys! All i could have wished for last night was more time to play. But hey, we had to go.

Im trying to quit smoking btw so im probably going to be a little devil the coming weeks. Hope you all can bare with me ;)

Weekend of farming for inscription

This is the place i have been going around in circles in. Havent seen alot outside of this area...

This weekend i have been spending almost all my gaming time. I have been after a deck for dark moon fair. On friday i was only missing one. Four of embers. But when i woke up on saturday morning i got it as a gift in my mail. Ty Mos! Ill say it again, i have the best family in the world! But i have kept on farming cuz i kinda need the money for a faster fly mount. Those Allys are only good for one thing and i know what after a weekend out there. Herb snatching! Now i know they are there for a reason =P But i could really use faster fly mount so they dont fly passed me and steel everything. Interesting enough, mornings and all days of the weekend has been perfect for farming. But during the days of the week it dosent work. Only the mornings. Guess the hard core gamers farm during daytime during the weeks?

I did one other good thing today. Started to level my DK today. It had just dinged 64 so i wasnt to positive about dinging again. But i did. So now my DK is at level 65, not bad since i have been sleeping so much during the day today and worked on my plants on the balcony. Go me =)

Tomorrow its time for raiding again. I think... Not sure if its up in the calendar (i should have accepted if it is). I guess im just getting in to the routines of raiding monday, wensday and thursday? I have to read up more about thursday. Im really having trouble understanding why things are going as its going at one of the bosses. But i have a few days to get the tactics down better. Hopefully my nerves wont gt to me when its time for raiding. Will be interesting to see how people are behaving and IF they have read what they are suppose to do. Im a bit curious about one person that has signed up for THAT raid. Never seen him/her raid before. Still an alt but i think he/she joined a few months or so. Never seen that person raiding. And signing up for that night seems a bit strong. But i could be wrong. Pepole might know him/her and it might be a real good player. But tbh i think its mostly about getting raid repairs... Why would you sign up for a raid first when you asked about how you get a promotion? And only one? Now when we are getting a ew bosses down more easy it will also be more easy to get a promotion i think...

Anyway, looking forward to see what happens next week =)

Been thinking all morning...

I have been thinking all morning about last night and my feelings about the raids before. It felt like it was turning last night. Buti think i know why i was so upset before. We used to be good friends. And i saw my friend change in a way that i didnt like. Its going to take some time to build it up again, and get the same feeling back. But im really hoping i do get it back. Its always good to reflect and learn something from yourself. Its a part of life...